.Saturday, September 15, 2007 ' Saturday, September 15, 2007
why do i have sucha strong feelings that we wont last? i felt that im drifting further from you. or rather im never close with you. im being optimistic to think postively but i don wanna lie to myself any further. you are not the one that i want. this few days, you are not the one who crosses my mind most. how i wish i can last long with you. but well..i just dont feel that comfortable with you. somehow it was the sense of security that im lack of. candidly speaking.. how many days do we get to meet each other in a week? how often do we really talk things deep bottom from our heart? how often will you care for me? i know that though everytime i was the one who was rather nasty. bud did you really pamper me? im not behaving like a baby but you just cant meet up with my expectations, which was not set high. where were you when i needed you? this week you claimed that you are having homeleave and that we could not meet up. and that all sort of reasons like your mother are strict and things like that but does she really strict until that you could not just spare a min of your time to call me or at least text me? dont you miss me? do you love me? i know that i promised you that i will be a better girlfriend. i will not pick up anymore fights. but why i just feel like screaming the hell out of me? why are you making me feel that im being treated so pathetically. and im not trying to compare you with him. but how come everything that you do to me, it all reminds me of him. although now im still with you, i do not deny that im totally not in love with him. i know that by doing this, alot of people will hate me but do they really understand what on earth is going on? do they really understand what i want or rather need? having you now is like no difference of having a part time boyfriend. i hate to say this but its just the fact. contradicting your words. could i really bring my full-self to trust in you? you said you love me, you wont bastard me, you wont leave me blah blah.baby.. is it too early to say all this words? yes! i love the way you cuddle me.the way you put me fully into your embrace. the way you kiss me. the passion can be felt but all this , to me, is something which is not real. i felt no love in it. so im truly sorry if i had to make the choice. maybe it will do us both good. i dont wanna make you felt untreated well. and i dont like being treated like a part timer girlfriend. so it gonna be a better choice right?
O-level L1R4 <16 
Trip to Taiwan